Cuckholding: Just a Kink or a Way of Life?
Hey there, I go by many names but you can call me Welcome. I’m a recent college grad, fan of the show, and kinky sex nerd who’s jumped onboard to help out Holly and her team. I’ll be working on the Holly Randall Unfiltered Newsletter, some social media management, and blog posts like this one! Holly’s generously given me early access to some of her shows and I can’t wait to share my thoughts with loyal listeners like you. If you want special privileges like me, you can support Holly on Patreon, where she live streams the interviews, lets you submit your own questions to guests, and holds a treasure trove of bonus content.
I’ve been curious about cuckolding for a long time, and even dabbled in some of it myself, so I was extra excited to see Venus Cuckoldress on the lineup this May. Venus has been involved in the cuckolding lifestyle for seven years, so she has lots to say on the topic. In fact, she’s become such an expert that she has her own podcast. Plus, she’s even started a matchmaking service specifically to help women find the cuckolds they deserve. As you could expect, she has lots of interesting things to say about this kink, or maybe more accurately, lifestyle.
Like Venus, I was turned on by the idea of cuckolding before I ever knew it had a name. I’ve known I never wanted to be monogamous since I was a teenager – I’ve never understood why loving and touching one person should mean that I give up my freedom to love and touch others. Unfortunately, polyamory is a pretty hard sell for most boys in high school who have only ever heard of monogamy or cheating. So, I ended up in some… not so ethically non-monogamous situations. Boys would agree to be with me knowing I had no intention of being exclusive, then beg and plead for me to stop being such a “slut” and commit to just them. Well, I’m not proud of it, but I have to say that sort of awoke something in me. There was something about being framed as a seductress, universally desirable and unable to be pinned down (no pun intended) by one person, that felt really hot. Plus, I have to admit it, I’m super turned on by the idea of a man not being sexually “worthy” enough for my commitment to monogamy. Of course, in real life I only want partners I deeply adore (and my polyamory has nothing to do with a lack of respect for my lovers), but that fantasy has always gotten to me.
Because of my specific interests (and the fact I’ve mostly explored cucking through fantasies and porn) I tend to only think about this kink from the humiliation angle. To me, it’s part of the broad, interconnected world of femdom, chastity cages, sissification and small penis humiliation. When I think about cucks, I tend to think of them as fulfilling the fantasy role of inferior “beta” losing their wives and girlfriends to “alpha male” bulls. I think the concept of “alpha males” is total BS to begin with and I don’t actually believe less dominant men deserve to be cheated on, but I enjoy kink that takes harmful cultural myths and spins them into something sexy and fun for everyone involved. So, I’ve always been into cucking in large part because I thought of it as a form of humiliation and domination. But Venus, in her interview with Holly, is quick to dissuade such misconceptions.
Sure, plenty of cuckolding couples really do enjoy these types of fantasies and roleplays. However, Venus talks with Holly about how broad of a spectrum couples fall into and how many have no humiliation (or “teasing” as Venus prefers) in their dynamic at all. To be a cuck you don’t need to be denied sex by your partner or told you’re less worthy or masculine, and you definitely don’t need to sit in the room crying while your partner ‘cheats’ on you. All you need is to enjoy staying sexually ‘faithful’ while your partner is free to fuck other people. Plus, Venus takes care to remind us that the idea that cucks are weak or unmasculine is just part of some people’s fantasies. Cucks are strong and, if anything, feel more secure in their masculinity than people who guard their partners like personal property.
Venus also mentions the fact that cuckolding is very popular among gay men, something I’d never known before. I wish she had been able to speak more about queer cuckolding in general, or even cuckqueans (women who are cucks). I’ve been interested in having a cuck boyfriend for a while, but I’ve also gotten the chance to explore ‘being on the cuck end’ a little bit and really enjoyed it. There’s something erotic and thrilling about seeing hickies from someone else on your partner’s neck – asking sheepishly what they’re from and getting to be told all the juicy details of sex she had with someone else.
As a queer person, I almost never felt represented by anyone but the hotwife in cuckolding stories, and I wish I’d known sooner how variable cuckolding fantasies and dynamics can be. I get the impression that most of the media representation of cuckolding relationships portray white couples with a boyfriend who is cucked (often by a bull who’s a Black man). Every time I learn more about cuckolding I think what a pity it is that there’s so little diversity in the conversations being had and the media being produced around it. I imagine there are a lot of folks in the world who would explore cuckolding if they felt more like it was ‘for’ them – if they could easily picture how they (and their partner/s) could rework the dynamic to make more sense for them.
Overall, Venus was an exciting and informative guest – I’ll definitely be checking out her own podcast in the future. Plus, I’m even considering using her matchmaking service. After all, I have been looking for a dedicated cuck for a while now.
By A/E Welcome